The best there is

Some imp tricked me. Now I'm in here with Zebra Daddy, connstantly tuanting me. The more I kill him. The more he comes back.What's worse is the soul of my mother, she's asking me "why?" over and over.


After a few days Satan laughs. " My son is coming for you so now, I no longer need you. Seems my brother has a grudge with your father. So Your about to go there . Have fun! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Next thing I know, I blackout, and when I wake up I see this person.

" Hello Laura. I'm an old friend of your father's. You can call me Uncle Mephisto. Well That's kind of ironic given your reation ship with my nephew. He's should know not too reproduce, look at the problems I've had with Blackheart, or Trigon has had with Raven. "


" What do you want monster?" I challenge. " My Soul?"

He guffaws. " Why would I want something you don't have clone girl?"

" That's not true!" I yell.

" Please girl your nothing but a weapon." He sneers. " A smell can make you kill your mother. Your a gun, and you even have a trigger. So I find it funny that you even tried to act like a human. with reation ships and, friends."

Damn it ! i think he's right . I'm nothing but a killing machine. I'm not a person. Vegeta, and Emma were right.

"Don't worry. " He grins . " I have some people here to keep you company. Those that your you , and your father have sent to me. Soon he'll come looking for you. That is when I'll capture his soul. Then The X-men will journey here to free him, and soon thier souls will join him. I'll keep you as a pet your slashing the denziens of my domain amuses me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "

Logan if you read this don't come looking for me. I'm nothing anyway.

So I'm at the Skull Island pit stop.. Checkin' out babes in fur bikinis. I get this phonecall.

" Hey 'Dad'" the voice on the other line is my son. He ain't like Laura who's a clone. But a son I actually had with a former wife, She was murdered an' the baby ripped outta her . By the same people who turned me inta a killin' machine.

They made him just like me.

" What do ya want?" I ask.

" Oh nothing really. I just want to say thanks as for the blonde you know the one that's supposed to be having your kid? Well she'sbleeding to death in a Hotel in Dark Town. You can save her if you want, or not I don't really care. Huh."


I'm so pissed at the boy that I didn't notice the "huh." "Hey Old Man." He continues. "Do red eyes run in the family? Maybe this kid is Wonderman's after all. Doesn't matter Weapon X is going have fun , making him one of it's agents. Bye."




I get a Transport , and make it to the part O' West City called Darktown. I'm goin' around blind until I find My boy's scent. DAmn It! He' hidden where he went ta pretty damn well.

I fllow the trail O' blood. to where Carol's bleedin, I Pick 'er up to take her to the hospitol when. Iron Man crashes through the roof.

" My God!Logan! I knew you were angry but this butchery! How could you?"

" Wait Stark! This isn't what it looks like we been set up!"

" PUT HER DOWN!" He shouts.

After I do so. I calmly Try ta talk this out. " Look Bub..." I'm interuppted by a Repulsor Ray in the chest.

Halfway down to the pavement . I hear " S.H.I.E.L.D.! This is Director Stark! I need a med team at my location ASAP! Agent Danvers is hurt bad!"

I don't hear the rest since I hit a fire hydrant head first. After recoverin' I get a punch to the face fer my trouble. In that suit I think he can lift oh about 75 tons or more. Not at The Hulk's punchin' power but still enough ta smart.

Especially. Since I go through a flamin' wall.

" I can't believe I used to defend you to Cap!" He 's still yellin', "Get up! You Savage! Get up! So I can put you back down!"

I try ta get ready ta claw him when I'm blasted by all kinds O' werid rays. I Much As i hate ta admit it I ain't got much O' a chance here. Maybe If I try ta ta lure "im inta traffic with whiskey like Kid Flash is always sayin'? My brain mut be more damaged then I thought since I'm makin' jokes while Iron Man 's beatin, the Hell outta me.

After the fight with Dad, Forge put me through all kinds of tests. Then I was locked in a cell. In case I was a "danger to my self or others." I guess I did act a little insane. Though were Vampirella gets the idea I was raped is beyond me.

Those sick I was with as A prostitute while disgusting wasn't any rape. But I would deserve it after killing my mother. I know the X-men keep saying it wasn't my fault, but I still did it.

When I thought of this I was about to slash myself hen a voice in my head, says " You really shouldn't do that Healing factor or not."

I feel an evil grin come over my face " What's up Chuck?"

The cell door opens and he's already groaning. " Why do the two of you insist on this inifantile humor?" He shakes his head . " Any way it seems Logan wasn't completely paranoid."

" What do you mean?" I ask.

" Something has been over stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain....."

" What?" I scream! " That bastard!"

"Now Laura." Chuck reassures " I've known Hot stuff since he was a baby. I don't think he would..."

I stop Chuck right there. " He has some explaining to do !If I don't like the answers he's going to be singing soprano!" Snikt!

" Laura calm down!" Chuck orders. " look he's in the living room, and you two, can talk."

" Well, you may need to keep a bed in sick bay open for him!" I growl.

I stalk into the room HS is watching that stupid race that Dad is in, with Bra's father. And Hotstuff's grandfather, Vegeta.

" Hey Beautiful how're...."

I pop my claws and point them at his crotch " Don't hey beautiful me ! You did something to me and I want to know what!"

" You asked me to do the tongue thing...." He protests.

" I didn't even know what it was ! Or what kind of effect it'd have on me ! I was acting like a junkie need ing a fix !"

" Those are your dad's words, look I don't know what this power is or how to control it!"


" I thought you were different... " I say under my breathe. Before I can say anything I glance up at the TV, To see My Dad , and his grandad fighting, again. That's almost all they do.

Then I scream as Vegeta tears Logan in half. And HS laughs . " Yeah show him Grandpa!"

I glare " What did you say?"

" Huh?" You were mad at him."

I'm fighting tears. " Do you know what he went through when the Hulk did that too him? The pain was far more than physical, and ,the physical pain of being torn apart is horrible. It takes a long time to heal , and he'll be reliving it for months now!"

Then that smirking alien Bastard calls us " animals." I then realize HS grew up around this man, he probably thinks of me as an animal too he's could be using that power of his to use me , and brag to his saiyan friends.

" Get out of my sight!" I snarl.

He calls my name but I ignore it as I run to the mansion grounds,the laughter of his maniacal alien grandfather rings much louder in my ears.

I light up a cigarette,when I hear " Father's habit went to you too huh?"

"You!" My so called "half brother" I turn on him , I didn't even hear him walk up to me, just like last time when he cut me.


" Woah! Calm down Laura !" He grins "I just want to talk. So the devil kid didn't work out huh?"


" I- I don't know, it's complicated. What do I call you any way?"

" Brother will do for now."

" I think not, what do you want ?"

" Well. " He smiles " They want you back, and I'm going to give you to them."

" I'm not going anywhere. "

He pops his claws " Yes you are!"


We fight, but soon I realize that he's too strong, and more experienced than me. He's beating me when Josh comes up asking " Hey is this a training session?"

That distracts My brother Long enough for me to open his guts, and tear a more intimate area. he limps off with a threat and I thank , Josh and dumb luck for getting out of this one.

After the last challenge, which was to outdrink Volstagg. I dunno know what happened. I woke up in this.

Ya know I don't wanna know. Or why I have hair all over my claws. An' Laura's been brought here ta the Flamin' pit stop twice now. First she attacked some Devil chick In fronta everyone in Smallville High. That I don't really care about.

The second time, she was caught tryin' ta seduce devil boy. Now that bothers me some. Vampirella brought 'er to the Pit stop, and gave me all this crap about Laura needin' councilin' whatever.

So I pretty much held my tongue there, no need ' ta spill hero blood if I don't have ta I had enough O' that durin' the Civil War. I turn ta My clone /daughter who's already slipped the cuffs.

" It's your fault that devil bitch is going to seduce him , !" she screams poppin' her claws.


" Ya'd better put those away unless yer gonna use em." I Pop my own That smug idiot Vegeta walks by.

" Trouble at home?" he laughs.

" Shut up I ain't gonna deal with you and this! "


The dork shines up an apple , and begins eatin' it. " Hmph! Don't stop on my account this will be entertaining. "

I block several slashes from her with my claws. There are several times there. I coulda stabbed her and ended this . But I ain't gonna do that. She's the only family I have .

I grab her hands, and she cuts me with that stupid foot claw in the face. I foot sweep her . " Didja get that all outta yer system yet? Ya know Ya can't hurt me fer long, So how a bout ya calm down,eh?"

" Why should I be calm ? Because of your stupid rules HS is going to get it from a she devil!"

" Then he'll be with his own kind Darlin' Besides if he Ain't gonna wait fer ya he's a slime bag who just wanted one thing. "

She starts ravin' at me not in the normal love sick kid kinda way either. More like she was talkin' about some kinda drug she gotta taste for, and needed a hit.

So all that psycho babble crap Vampirella was spewin' about her bad experiences was a cover up fer some knda power or spell That devil kid got. I know what it's like ta be a 16 year old boy, all ya want is a taste O' that sweet sweet lovin'. An' that sick lil' demon did somethin' to my daughter so he could get it.

I call chuck over , and ask 'im to put Laura in One O' the cells at the mansion. The best way to get through is ta go through the withdrawal pains. Unless O' course. Whatever this thing he did ta her isn't undoable.


Oh Wonderful now she's back ta cuttin' herself. Before one O' the X-men drag her off to take her to the cell I turn on the boy "grandfather". " Ok saiyan Yer gonna tell me what your boy did ta my girl an' how ta reverse it Or I'm gonna kill ya slowly."

" He just smirks. " Do not blame the boy because of your bad parenting skills. Or that your kid is a whore." That's it he's dead! Then HS is next ! An' whoever gets in my way!

So Vegeta got stupid, in our last challenge. I had ta keep pullin' him away from things like candy, toys whatever. To my surprise we were the first across the finish line.

The bad news is he's still dumb as a rock. His wife found 'im and took 'im home. Me and Ana ended up in guest rooms , because of the whole race thing. I think I squared things away with the devil kid . Let him know in no uncertain terms he ain't gonna be touchin' Laura.

Ok I beat him up. But the kid got the message , and I ended up smellin' like roasted Logan the rest O' the day.

Sometime today Doc " I'm Pretty " Samson shows up . He said Vegeta's mind gotta over load of G rated goodness or some psycho babble. And it regressed. So I guess I'm gonna have an idiot fer a partner now , well bigger idiot.

Then I notice Bulma walkin' by " So whattya doin?'" I ask.

" Well I was thinking if G rated over load got made him lose his mind maybe X- rated will shock it back."

"Yeah that's gross I'm leavin.'"





Me an' Shi Are stayin' in a hotel until I hear if my race partner is normal fer him any way, or if he' went screamin' inta madness. Hey it's a win win.