The best there is

While tryin' ta keep Carol offa me, someone I haven't seen in a long time came knockin' on th' door. Vampirella. She used ta be around th' mansion all the time, when she dated Chuck. I guess maybe I shoulda told Chuck I smelt the smell of Vegeta's kid on her, but knowin' Chuck he knew before I did.

She brought this big guy along, She said he was like her brother. He called himself Kodiak. " Hey bub!"I say ta him. " So yer another Feral eh? Ya gotta healin factor too?"

" Yes but mine makes me immune to other mutant's powers after they use them on me. "

" Interestin'." I say. The truth is we need more man power 'round here. Most of The X-men are gone, after 'Ro's little power trip. An' Kurt has went who knows where. If th' Professor was here or some other telepath we could find the Brotherhood, with Cerebra.


Don't matter though, If nothin' else , This just gave me an excuse ta get way from Carol. I Went ta the Place that robbed the black diamonds an' I caught a scent, Creed. I follow his trail an' find th' freak an' his buddies.


He smells me an attacks. " So th' boy comes after his Daddy Eh?" said Creed.

" Ya ain't my Daddy Bub! That was a Weapon X memory implant."

" I know Logan but it kept ya off your game didn't it?" He said slashin'' my chest.

" Nah Vic, I was jest tryin' ta get ya close enough ta do this." I say slashin at his guts, then I poked his eyes out wit' the other set set'o claws. He should be fine ,a after a couple a' hours. I Was about ta do some more damage, So ta overtax his healin' factor when I'm attacked by Toad, Avalanche an' Pyro.

But it looked like Kodiak tracked me. He shows up Knockin' Toad through a wall. Storm blasts Pyro wit' a snow storm. While Pantha bites Avalanche, before he can use his Earth movin' powers.

After we round up th' Brotherhood, We look fer th' Black Diamonds, we only find one. I guess th' others were givin ta Magneto an' his love doll already. I don't know what it is but there's somthin' off about th Black diamond, like it's drawin' me to it or somethin'.

I found this transporter in Dex's Diner that went to Hacknor. Yes I admit I'm the one that sent those two bimbos ta rub around on Vegeta. That was Flamin' funny. Do I care if him an' his Girl divorce? Please! no one else would want either one of those two.

Ana's all mad about my fling wit Carol Danvers. It's not like I've done anything wit' her in years. She's just a friend I've known from my CIA days, and a fellow super hero nothin' more. I heard about her gallery needin' better security, an' I applied under my birth name James Howlett.


I got th' job but there was one strange thing , I could' a sworn I smelt Bruce Banner there. Why would th' Hulk be there? Anyway , Pantha an' Storm and me ta Cyberdyne inc. Ta find out what robo skank an' Magneto want wit' their products.

Th' guy there said basically that th' last thing she stole, makes technology work ten times better. But it can't work without this interface thing . I have no doubt Mags, and his robot love toy, are gonna after the interface. An' they'll find th' X-men waitin' for 'em.

That Elixir kid is kinda annoyin' me.

He keeps followin' me around an' sayin' how cool I am . Evreytime I'm doin' something He she says it's cool no matter what I'm doin'. I don't see how eatin' Corn flakes is cool but ok whatever. It wasn't botherin'' me to much 'til Rouge said, " Looks like ya have another sidekick Logan."

Not again. Yeah I had a bad experience wit' a sidekick. Jubilee was always followin' me around. And sayin' how cool I was too. She even found her way inta my solo adventures. That wasn't so bad until I found pictures o' myself while I was sleepin' all over her room, She even had a flamin, Shrine of me. Before y ask no I didn't have anything to do with the fact th' fact she's vanished.

But I will admit I had her transferred ta th' Generation X team in Massachusetts. Well ok I had Chuck do it. But still she was Flamin' weird, an' I'm sure no X-man missed her.

Kurt told me about some guy who had dated Pantha before him , and how he feared that he would come back into her life " I say simply " Kick his ass." Some Big Lummox decides to start a bar brawl hear on the News from the bar TV that Sentinels were attacking the city. So I punch Ogre guys teeth out and head for the battle.


I join the rest of the X-men, and I use th' term loosely. It was Kurt, Me Pantha Storm, Cyke Peter, An a bunch O' students. One Kid named Santo that, kinda looked like Ben Grimm picked me up and threw me at a sentinel. " Alright Fastball special!" I wasn't ready for that and here's the result .



Lucky fer me I got my Healin' factor. An before I fell down I cut Storm outta the robots hand. That Elixer kid. Tries to heal me an I say, Use your power for someone that needs it Bub!

I see Scott Cryin in an alley. I heard Pantha slapped him before and he was ready a fight, I guess I heard wrong. I run up ta him an' do a trick I seen Goku perform by tearin' off his glasses an' pointing him at the Robots.

Finally he said. " Ok Logan stop that! I'm fine now. He said right before a thunderbolt hit him. Luckily Elixer healed him. This girl named Dust asked me if she can help.

" What can ya do? " I ask.

" I can become a sandstorm."

" Then yes ya can help."

She tears a one a' those tin cans apart easily. I run up ta colossus an' we perform a real Fastball Special wit' me cuttin' off a Sentinel's head. Finally we took out all of 'em. I wonder why they were attackin' humans?

Th' nightmares, are coming back. I remember everything Weapon X put me through. I guess One o' these days I'll have to explain ta Ana Why I pop my claws and scream during the night. Since Storm had her little power trip everyone left. But since she's gone, some a' the X-men are comin' back.


Kurt came in today when I was trainin' in the dangerroom.



Ana watched us for a while she said she was gettin' better and ready for revenge. I think she may be jumpin the gun a bit she, doesn't heal like me. I can tell Somethin's wrong with Kurt. So we go to a local Westchester bar.


"So Kurt what's up?" I ask.

After coolin' down I go ta see Shi. I helped out her Protege' get some new investors. As ya can read in her blog I track her down an' find her injured with all these losers around her. I pop my claws.

All those ninjas look at me th' look in my eyes and run off, wimps. I pick 'er up.

I decide right off her place is too dangerous. So I take 'er to th Mansion. I was only one for a few hours an' I findTh' Place went inta chaos. All th' X-men were gone th studnets were runnin' around un supervised.

I get 'em all calmed down ny poppin' th' claws. they all sat silently as I tried ta figure out wahat ta do here. The Finals are done , so I call Chuck an' ask him If I can just send 'em home for th' summer.

He can't believ evrethin' has went to Hell without him in a few days. he said he'd get back ta me on tha students. Damn! Looks like Me and Ana will have ta stay at Avengers Tower fer a while.

Well I got done with the students who went with Magneto. One asked me why I was so rough. " Ya think I'm rough boy that ain't half of what Magneto woulda done to ya. Ya see he only wanted you as an army, ta destroy the human race. Earth's heroes would'a treated ya a lot worse than I just did."


They let that sink in. Then one of them says. " Wouldn't be just as bad if we're X-men? "


" Fer one thing no sine th' Brotherhood only seems ta care for themselves Th' X-men watch out for each other. Another difference is here we don't make ya be an X-man if ya don't wanna be. Workin' Fer Mags ya only got one choice, be a soldier or be dead. I think ya've went through enough go see Hank for your finals. Then go have a good summer."


Well that was early this mornin' I go ta get myself some cornflakes when Scott comes up in that Flamin' dress 'a his and starts singing' " Pretty Pretty Dancing! " An starts dancin'

" Scott? What are ya doin?"

" Pretty Pretty dancing!"


" There ain't anything pretty about what yer doin. " I see Iceman walk by " I bet Bobby wants ta see you dance though. "

He chases down bobby who runs yellin' " No! Cyclops not again!"

I leave th' school ta see if I still have anything' with Ana. That idiot Goku pulled me outta her house with out even givin' me a chance ta tell her. An Puttin' th' school back together has taken days.

Also Storm is on a power trip, and I need a break. So I go to her a apartment an' freakin' Daredvil is there wit' Flowers and Candy. I let ' im know how I feel about that.



We fight fer a while ,

I finally catch with a slash on his side. " No Stop fighting Matt!" Shi yells. " Fine if he's what ya want ya can have him." I say as I get back on my bike an' drive home. Everyone stay outta my way I am not inna good mood.

Well we got Magneto outta here. An' since Chuck's gone Storm has taken over th' X-men. Scott's been whinin.' About hw Chuck put 'im in charge, well that didn't work out so well so we all voted for Storm to be in charge.

A' course Cyke says" I hate you all! Sob!" he runs outta th' Waroom cryin.' So we Got all th' students in detention, an' I'm in charge a trainin' em in " survival ." Heh. I'll teach em ta Back up Magneto.

We rebuilt th' mansion , lucky for me I was wantin' ta see how Chuck did In Last Gladiator Standin' Th' best thing was him usin' Vegeta as a weapon. Ha!

Right when th' show ends I see Cyclops runnin' by. Dressed like this.



I really hope the students or an X-man dressed him like that, I don't wanna think he' s wearin' that willingly

I hadn't heard from th' school in a few days. That maybe a blessin'as ya can read on Ana's blog Scott came in ta her apartment stinkin' drunk. he demanded I come back I laughed at him and he left with one a' Ana's Associates.

He apparently got Scott's number if ya believe that. Any way I was enjoyin' th' day until, Goku appears in Shi's house dressed like flamin'Superman.



" Goku what are ya doin?"

" Didn't you hear? the school has been taken over by Magneto!" he yells almost too excitedly .


" Ok that explains why yer here, but not why your dressed like that."

" I just thought I could you know inspire evrey one. "

" Yeah inspire them to laugh at ya."

" Come on Wolvie! we gotta save the school!"

" Wait a minute at least let me tell Ana...." The Saiyain grabs me and
teleports me.

Later at Xavier's ....

We are confronted by Mags and a lot a' th' students.

" You and an idiot in the wrong clothes are going to to try to foil me?"

"Nah we got back up Bub. Old Magneto let me introduce ya to th' New Avengers."



Lucky th' Sentry had one a his good days. Maggie threw me and Iron man into each other. Goku 'ported Sentry into his magnetic field. The two started beatin' on 'im like he was a drum then this Robot chick pops up.

She says " Idenify subject: Robert Reynolds The Sentry, Identify Subject: Son Goku neutralize."

She fires some kind ' a beam an' knocke them down. I see Super doofus start ta get up. I run towards 'im "Yo! Alien ! I go to words for ya!"

" Suck it?" he said stupidly.

" No you wrestlin' watchin loser! Turn blonde an' throw me at the robot babe it's a Fastball Special !"

He throws me through the robot, and it does a lot a' damage

Then Goku fires energy blasts at it.

I look over and see that Maggie seems ta be concerened about this tinker toy, then I notice I ain't stoppin'!I crash through the mansion an inta the kitchen. My fall is broken by pies.


I'm covered in this lemon merang stupid Goku! Well I gotta get back ta th' battle.

Scott whined about me movin' out 'till Chuck gets back. But I gotta say .....


Hangin' out wit' Ana in th' woods beats listenin' ta Cyke cry any day a' the week.

Ogun was My sensei sometime in th' early 1900's. Even before I knew how evil he was I knew there as somethin' off about him. He once was stabbed in front'a me. And acted like nothin' happened ta him.


Years later when I was in th' X-men he reappeared. He tried to make Kitty Pryde evil. I had ta kill 'im. He keeps returnin' as a ghost an' posseing people, or turnin' solid, an tryin' ta kill me. Now he's got control a'Shi.


I'm tryin' not ta kill her Ogun ain't makin' that easy. He's stabbin'me and kickin' th daylights outta me. My healin' factor Took care a' it jus' fine. " This is getting us no where, Animal !" says Shi/ Ogun.

" How about this? You stop running around and let me kill you or I kill the girl. "

Damn! He had me there. " Well well. Logan you know you have no choice don't you? Now kneel like the lowly creature you are!"

I did as Ogun said. " Logan No!" said Shi in her own voice. " I have no choice Darlin."

As soon as Th' demon possed girl raised her sword I pop one claw and slash her, the' wound was not deep enough ta kill. But it surprised Ogun, and angered Shi enough fer her ta drive him outta her body wit those qi powers a' hers.

As I watched Ogun's spirit vaporise . Shi hit me in th' back a' the head with th' butt a' her sword.

" You could have killed me Logan!"

"Nah, I know how ta slash. witout killin' if I want."

If not fer her makeup I think her face would 've been red wit' how angry she was.

" Why didn't you tell me you could speak Japenese?"

" Ya never asked."

" Your impossibe!" she said as she stormed off. Heh I think she's mad thet she thought she could talk ta people about me an' not have me understand. I wonder if I should tell her I lived in Japan fer a few years. Nah Not with her bein' this mad.

Me an' Shi get a note in Japanese , Ta get ta Central Park we fight a few members a' the Hand after we beat those pajama wearin' losers. I 'm about ta say ta SHi that can't be it when she stabs me .

" Ha! I can't believe the skills I have taught you have degraded so far, Gajin. "


" What are ya talkin' about darlin'? "

" I am not your woman Animal! But she will be the prefect vessal for my vengence!"

Then I remembered that voice. It was my old Sensei, Ogun. He possesed her!

Well I messed up. And cost Chuck ten grand at a charity auction. Looks like I need ta' call Landu Luckman an' Lake ta pay him back. After yelliin' at me Chuck said he was goin' on a reality show with Magdelena.


An' Scott's in charge. I just laughed at him when he said I was goin' in a timeout . Then he says " No dessert for you mister!"

"Oh no!Bub! Not that! I ain't 8 years old ! I'm gonna watch some tv."

Since then th' students have put Cyke in th' dumpster three times now. , uh make that four, and Iceman just sealed 'im in it. Then he yells" Party!" During th' party a giant cake is wheeled in th' delivery man says it's fer me .

Then the ugliest stripper jumps outta it. Here's 'er pic.

An here's my reaction

I know of only one person sick enough ta think that's funny. Vegeta. An sure enough A tape recording in th' cake says " Enjoy my gift rodent! mwhahahahahahahahahaha! "

So a' course everyone that wasn't sick left th' mansion ' cept Deadpool. He was actin' like a kid in a candy store. " Hey Wolvie! This is great where ya goin? "

" Th' Hellfire club ta get that image outta my head." I Point at th' Bea Arthur look alike.

Flamin Pirates! Used a damn magnet on me! We hunted them down to Tantooine. Some planet where th' local commodity seems ta be sand and heat. With a helpin' a stench. We find the pirates ship .

I let my anger out on th' magnet. Crushin' th' thing. We find th' homin' beacon Magdelna had on 'er on her armor on th' ship. Lucky we got a mind reader an' a tracker on th' team.

So we find'em pretty quick. They were gonna sale Maggie ta this giant slug like thing called Slobbo th' Hutt. I jump on this creep an' make 'im Sushi th' Hutt. The other X-men take
His guards down pretty quick.

Corsair's pirate buddies, hightail outta there. Maggie grabs Corsair, and tangles 'im up in her chains. I pop my claws in his face an' say"Give me an excuse Bub!" Rouge takes th' sapphire from 'im.

Chuck says " I'm not taking any chances." an' makes Scott's Dad think he's a six year old girl. I ain't kiddin' Maggie even braided his hair. I could hear Cyke sayin' " I'm going to need therapy after this."

Now we're back in th' ship goin' ta the Shi'ar empire. Which Wouldn't be so bad if Corsair wasn't sayin' " I got to go potty." evrey five minutes.

I met some girl at th' Jedi Temple. She said she was the Governess O' the Temple But the Muppet Jedi an' th' rest were gone. Still can't believe he won Th' Amazin'' Mutant race 2 It was my Flamin' idea!

Any way apparently the girl knew of me. Who woulda thought someone would know about us this far form Earth. See offered me tea an' some cakes. I took her up on it an' we talked fer a while. That until some kid ran up an' put a straw up his nose.

While she was tryin' ta get the thing outta his nostril, Chuck called me in my mind. We had ta leave. After spendin' tha night in a Hotel All the' X-men went ta see this Palpatine guy. Maggie passed out, Chuck Got Cyclops ta take her out of th' room.

The smell of this guy was horrible, he was pure evil. It was so bad I almost went inta a bezerker rage. " Why is this little fellow growling at me?" He said . " Steady." said Chuck. " I want to see if he's going to pose a threat first."

What's Chuck talkin' about? This guy livin' is a threat. it takes all can muster not ta pop my claws on this guy I hope Charlie knows what he's doin'.